Wrong
by Carmen Echo
Summary: I turn my head and his lips are already there. Waiting for mine on pure instinct. We kiss. Hard and starved. I can almost feel my attention span shrink. Somewhere far away, in the realm of consciousness I’m wondering why I’m doing this to myself. TxS


Wrong

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A/N: Fourth installment. Oh who am I kidding, this is a full-fledged story. Chapter Four. Once this is finished I'll probably stick it all together, tweak it a little, add some artful song lyrics and voila. This is called 'I create'. Enjoy and review.

Warnings: Strong lime. Minor x adult.

Disclaimer: I own none of it. Really.

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"Hello?" female voice. I hang up. Minutes are the longest thing ever. Ten pass. The longest ten minutes I've ever fucking spent. I dial again.

"Hello?" male voice. His voice.

"Touya?" I sound vaguely strangled and hoarse.

"I'll give her the-" he begins, interrupting my thought just to get away from it.

"NoIcalledtotalktoyou." I blurt out in less than a second. I'm sweating. I don't know what it is that's pushing me to do this. That's keeping me from hanging up.

"What do you want?" his voice drops to almost a whisper. He doesn't sound as calm as he was earlier.

"To see you. I need to see you." my voice shakes. A little. I don't think he can hear it. I mentally go over what I just said and congratulate myself on the choice of words. Need. I think I sank to a new low.

"Fuck. I can't right now." he sounds genuinely upset by this.

"Please." I'm ready to shoot myself. I'm saying things I think. Because I can't stop. "Just for a little while." I'm pathetic. All the while I'm in the corner of my room, on the floor. He's hesitating. Thinking.

"Meet me at the park entrance. Get out right now. Can you?" he speaks quietly, almost frantically, and I slowly start believing that he wants this.

"Yeah." we hang up without a word.

I'm positive that I'm single-handedly ruining this. I'm taking my relationship with Sakura by it's fragile little legs and smashing it into a wall repeatedly. It's nauseating. I'm trying not to think all together while I slip into shoes.

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I'm waiting. It's cold. It tends to be colder at night but this is ridiculous. It shouldn't be but it is. I didn't think to bring a sweater. I'm in a fucking t-shirt, freezing my ass off because it's the end of the summer and he isn't here yet.

Someone's grabs me. Someone's warm, welcoming body presses up against me from behind and I can't see who it is. But I know it's him. His arms come around me in a hug as he buries his head in the crook of my neck. I suddenly feel ten pounds lighter. Like all the tension released and now there's only the sensation of my sinking stomach. Because he's panting against my neck and holding me too tight.

"Fucking God." he whispers. "They wouldn't fuck off with the questions. I ran all the way here."

"Why are we doing this?"

"I don't know. Why the hell are you in a t-shirt?" he inquires, not as seriously as he should.

"I don't know. I didn't think to put anything on." I turn my head and his lips are already there. Waiting for mine on pure instinct. We kiss. Hard and starved. I can almost feel my attention span shrink. Somewhere far away, in the realm of consciousness I'm wondering why I'm doing this to myself. Why I'm openly instigating this. This is bad. This is cheating. And there isn't a valid excuse for it. I'm not drunk. He's not forcing me. He's just being wildly hard to resist. I pull away.

"You're such a fucking whore." He breathes into my ear while his hand toys the button on my jeans. Then undoes it.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to…" I reply, entirely too breathlessly to be convincing. We're still standing at the park entrance.

"So you're saying that I can walk off right now and you won't stop me?" he nips at my ear and I moan. Like the whore that he insists I am.

"Can you really let yourself walk off?" I say with more confidence than I'll ever have. I don't know what pushes these words out of my mouth. All I know is that I want him to touch me.

"And what if I can?" his hands slip away from me and once again my back is bathed in cold. Touya backs away. I turn around slowly, with what I suspect to be a pitiful look on my face. I look at him.

"Then go." my voice sounds more defeated than it should, as I hook my thumb into the edge of my jeans under my t-shirt - hiking it up. I'm staring at him with big, sad brown eyes and he shuts off. His face goes blank, he turns away and begins walking in the opposite direction. I panic instantly. It turns into a shiver that spreads throughout my body and I'm standing there shaking, and boring my eyes into his back and hugging myself.

"Touya…" I exhale. But he hears me. And I know because he stops in his tracks. I walk up to him. He turns around.

"What do you want?" I can feel the tension seep out of his words. He's not unfazed. Not as unfazed as he usually appears. A fleeting glimmer of hope stirs somewhere inside me. He cares.

"Nothing. Go." I mutter. I don't want him to hear what my guilty conscience wants me to say. I look away because he's too condescending. His eyes know. They see right through me, as if I was ever hard to read. I just don't want to face their knowing. So I run. I hide my eyes. And then re-evaluate the kind of person I've become because of Sakura's brother. A fucking coward.

I close my eyes for a second. Composure doesn't come. Touya keeps looking at me. Grabs my face and turns it up. Forcing me to look. Hurting me. I'm giving up. I don't know why he's doing this to me. But he takes my hand and practically pulls me into the park. Nearest bench. Hands under my shirt. And I'm done. I'm gone. Everything sane is too far for me to bother thinking about because he begins touching me. Kissing me everywhere. No one ever kissed me like that. Not the way he does. Not every square inch of visible skin. I moan. My hand fists into his hair. It's coarse. I close my eyes so that I don't have to realize things.

My mouth makes moans that I don't register ever consenting to. It's one in the morning. A dark, cold outside place. Him. His lips and hands. Feverishly, expertly undoing my pants. Pulling on my boxers just enough to make contact. And then the relentless strokes. Slow and hard and so good. He's breathing against my skin. It feels like heaven. A heaven I never imagined to look like this, on a park bench with my girlfriend's older brother. Fuck angels, clouds and happiness, or what ever the hell the popular stereotype is. This is it. This is what I wanted. It's what I've been subconsciously missing. Something wrong. So incredibly wrong. An intrinsically bad thing to do. Something normal people don't engage in. Something society wouldn't pat me on the back for. An action that isn't driven by morals or principles. Things I start horribly lacking every time he touches me.

The concept of morality seems so distant. I don't know it anymore. I'm no longer someone that has a normal set of values. What's 'good' isn't quite as satisfying as it used to be. I no longer rely on logic to act. I rely on what ever seems right at the time. And really none of it is right, so all that really directs me is Touya. All this is, is a series of whims, based on what ever seeing him makes me want to do.

Currently, seeing him makes me want physical contact.

I feel oddly light-headed for the amount of guilt I'm experiencing per every unit of time. Everything is so surreal. This seems like such a theoretically terrible idea. A fucking park. How cliché. But it's getting me off, because I'm letting him bite and suck my neck until I feel like he'll draw blood. But pain feels so good with him. I'm only vaguely aware that this will leave a mark. Quite frankly, at this point, I'm beyond caring. Guilt no longer chokes, but becomes an undertone to everything else I feel. Barely. His lips pull away from my neck and he looks at me. Just looks. And continues the strokes. And I look back because his eyes are mesmerizing. Then I kiss him. In that terrible, starving way that makes him shudder and bite my lip and deepen the kiss. When It comes down to it, he isn't so controlled. Not quite as cool, calm and collected as he wants to look. He is only human. Deliciously so. With long, thin, talented hands that make my back arch and my head fall back.

It's alarming how the multiple tracks of my mind instantly channel into one. Him. And nothing else. Because nothing else matters. Not right now.

I forget to be alarmed at how different I've become. A few days - and I'm not a coldly logical adult that I thought I was supposed to be. I'm a babbling mess of hormones and impulses and stupid things that I promised myself I'd never do. I skipped being an idiot teenager. And that's what he reduced me to. A pining, pathetic little boy with a raging hard-on.

Pressure builds, his pace quickens, and I'm finished. I'm coming and seeing white and moaning his name. He gently kisses the side of my neck, and I slump against him. Because I can. Because there's no one to tell me not to. And I do what I didn't get a chance to do before. I'm sliding down is body, pulling his pants down along with his boxers and he doesn't get a chance to realize what's happening, but he's already in my mouth.

"Oh-GOD!" he is half surprised, half beginning to slowly fuck my lips because he knows he can't hide that he needs this. So much for cool and calm. I revel in the way he feels and tastes, methodically tightening and releasing my lips as I swallow, the flex of my throat pushing against his throbbing length and making him clutch the edge of the bench for dear life. I see his weakness. I watch the way he tries to fight physical need and fails, and moans and bites his lip and pulls my hair. I don't tease. I'm not that cruel. I haven't done this much. There had only been two other men in my life. Both my age, fairly recent, and kept under strictest secrecy. They were merely boys. Experiments with my transient, adolescent sexuality. But he wasn't an experiment. There wasn't anything experimental about what we did. It was raw, needy and impatient. A feeling that became jarringly familiar.

It's over as quickly as it begun. Suddenly, Touya leans over and sharply pushes me back. I'm flung backwards by the staggering blow, completely stunned, before realizing that he's already running in the opposite direction.

"Touya!" my voice breaks. I'm lost. It's a terrible feeling. I don't know what I did wrong. He doesn't turn back.

End.

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A/N: There you are kiddies - another installment. Hope you all enjoyed it - you know the drill.


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